Before we can have a healthy relationship with another human being, we have to have a healthy relationship with ourselves. Jim Rohn said “I’ll take care of me for you, if you’ll take care of you for me.” Wow, aren’t those powerful words? It took me a very long time to learn the importance of caring for my own needs first.
I got married at 18 to a young man who grew up in a very dysfunctional family. At 18, what did I know about such things? Although my father passed away when I was 8, I considered my home to be completely normal. I had always been attracted to kids who had loving parents and hung out at their homes. I knew no different, so marrying someone who came from such a different background, had a lot of challenges. My husband couldn’t give me what he didn’t have to give.
I stuck it out for 16 years, but then I knew I had to get out before the marriage completely destroyed me. Because of the mental abuse I was badly beaten down. I had lost Connie. I had absolutely no self esteem, so the next few years were filled with amazing discoveries. I will be forever grateful for the incredible people I met along the way who gave me the encouragement to become more. They could see what I couldn’t see in myself.
When I got into network marketing, one the first things I learned was to “Work harder on yourself than on your business.” This began an acceleration of self improvement. It’s been an incredible journey. I’ve learned that we can’t do it alone. With the help of some wonderful books and teachers, I’ve grown into someone who’s healthy, happy, and wanting to help others become the best they can be.
Relationships, and I don’t mean just couples, are vital to a fulfilled life. Here are some lessons I learned that are so important in order to have a successful relationship:
- We must have a healthy relationship with ourselves. Take the time for personal growth.
- We need to focus on what is right with the other and not on things that could be improved.
- We need to feel grateful to have each other in our lives; gratitute is very powerful.
- We need to respect each other’s needs and space.
- We need to communicate our feelings and concerns.
- We need to realize we won’t always agree. When there’s conflict and it get’s resolved, let go of it.
- Love isn’t always enough; relationships take work and compromise, but they’re worth it.
This is what I know for sure. It’s amazing the kind of people you attract into your life, when you are whole, happy, and healthy. It all starts with making a good first impression and then it’s up to you. Tell me about some things that you have learned are effective in building a strong relationship.